Have you ever felt like that? Of course you have… we all do, and most of us feel it a little bit most every day. Times like these we really need to take a deep breath. In, and out, deeply at first, slowly going out, maybe even forming some kind of restriction with our mouths as we exhale. Wasn’t there a movie, “Waiting to Exhale?” Or something like that, anyway, sometimes it’s good to wait before exhaling, giving us a little more time to form that thought, that one thought… “Who am I?” Yes, ‘who am I’, for that is really the only question when it comes to decisions that weigh on us. Our ego gets into the picture sometimes all too often. And then there’s clutter, such as well, how would they feel? How can I do this without hurting someone else’s feelings? What will come of it if I do this or that? You know… you know deep down if its right, and you know too, that somehow everything’s going to be ok, when you do what your inner self deems right. A peace comes over you that can hardly be explained. We’ve all felt it, from time to time, because the odds of chance tell us that we are bound to ‘do the right thing’ at least some of the time. If we could just give ourselves the time we really deserve when it comes to decision time, we would be so much richer in this life. Some things are really big, at least to us, and yet, most of those things, if we examined them from our perspective to the past, after whatever happened, happened, it most often doesn’t seem to be as big a deal as we thought. Oh there are surely times we may still have wished we’d made a different choice, yet I think that observation is somewhat flawed. We may still be looking at it with tainted feelings, allowing our present to beat us down, telling us that ‘if we had only done this or that, if we’d only said things differently’. Well, we both know different choices would put us in a completely different ‘present’, but we have no way of knowing what that present could possibly be. We may think that things would be so much better, but that is probably not true. We would indeed be in a different place, though we would still have challenges in our lives, they’d just be different!
Still, that type of thinking is constantly pestering us. I say ‘pestering’ because that is what it really is. No amount of thought or energy whatsoever can bring that moment in time back to us. We are who we are regardless of what could have been, for what could have been is a make-believe story. Such things happen for a reason, and sometimes the reason is meant to be a big lesson for us, or possibly for another person involved. I mean, take for instance a relationship, possibly a budding romance. Something happens that seems to force you into making a decision, maybe to call your partner out on something, maybe to discuss some unethical behavior, maybe they hurt you, but suddenly you find yourself pressed with acting or reacting. Now that is a good time to STOP and take a minute for yourself. Take that deep breath, and ask yourself, “Who am I?” And as you breathe out, you will remember who you are. As you remember who you are, the input for making a decision will present itself to you, and your decision will be led by your spirit, the part of you that knows more than you know. Sometimes it can take a bit longer to get back to yourself, like maybe a few breaths, and a few more minutes, but don’t you think you owe it to yourself? I do… I know you do… I know that each one of us owes a few minutes to our self when making what we feel is a big decision. Needless to say, obviously we don’t always give ourselves such time, and we feel so burdened by making a decision, and sometimes act rashly. Even so, as much as it may seem that we made the wrong decision, that is not so. As many arguments that you can come up with about why it was wrong, and how much better and different you would feel today had you done something else, you are wrong in that thinking, and I can give you reasons to back that up. I mean, come on, it’s a make-believe world you are posing for yourself! I can make stuff up, too! Please don’t confuse this with having and following your dreams. Oh they are very real, they are fresh from within you, and they need only belief to become your reality; however that is another subject and requires some knowledge I don’t yet possess. What we’re talking about here are not dreams initiated within our hearts, these are fantasies born of things from our past. They are lies that we tell ourselves, and prefer to believe, especially when our present isn’t so wonderful, at least in our mind’s eye. That one you left, or who left you, supposedly because of what you did or said? He/she wasn’t meant to be anything more from that moment in time. Remember, they also had a choice. There are so many variables, but the one constant is that everything happens for a reason. Did you take the time for yourself to settle down and remember who you were? Not only is that a disruption of the present in that moment in time, you have to consider what the other party was faced with, and what their thoughts were about it, and what lesson they were meant to learn, if any. You would not be the same person today had things been any different. Some may feel that it surely couldn’t be worse, yet it most likely would be, for you would still have that lesson to learn, you would still have the pain to go through… of course, now we’re getting a bit subjective, but you must get the idea: there are so many if’s, buts’, and I knows that come into play; it’s impossible to determine any one outcome based on such criteria.
Ok, this is all a part of what I’ve come to believe about the decisions we’ve made in the past as well as how decisions we make today can be affected and handled. I feel so strongly about it that I wanted to share. Such realizations, enlightenment if you will permit, have come to me only recently, like in the past few years, and they’ve evolved bit by bit during that course of time as well. I hope some of this makes sense to you, and I know sometimes I leave things out that may be crucial in understanding, so if you have questions, please ask me. I only mean to share what I believe can help us in our struggles with our past as well as our gateway into our futures, which is our present. I used the example of relationships because it has forever been so dear to me, and I have put myself through much agony over it through the years, but it really does apply to everything we have ever done, based on decisions, or choices, whether ‘forced’ or otherwise, such as taking or losing a job, yelling at our child or not, and so forth. I hope to hear your thoughts on this, and as several friends have commented before, sharing is often a way to learn to accept and understand one another, and I want to understand you better, as I hope you will me.
Still, that type of thinking is constantly pestering us. I say ‘pestering’ because that is what it really is. No amount of thought or energy whatsoever can bring that moment in time back to us. We are who we are regardless of what could have been, for what could have been is a make-believe story. Such things happen for a reason, and sometimes the reason is meant to be a big lesson for us, or possibly for another person involved. I mean, take for instance a relationship, possibly a budding romance. Something happens that seems to force you into making a decision, maybe to call your partner out on something, maybe to discuss some unethical behavior, maybe they hurt you, but suddenly you find yourself pressed with acting or reacting. Now that is a good time to STOP and take a minute for yourself. Take that deep breath, and ask yourself, “Who am I?” And as you breathe out, you will remember who you are. As you remember who you are, the input for making a decision will present itself to you, and your decision will be led by your spirit, the part of you that knows more than you know. Sometimes it can take a bit longer to get back to yourself, like maybe a few breaths, and a few more minutes, but don’t you think you owe it to yourself? I do… I know you do… I know that each one of us owes a few minutes to our self when making what we feel is a big decision. Needless to say, obviously we don’t always give ourselves such time, and we feel so burdened by making a decision, and sometimes act rashly. Even so, as much as it may seem that we made the wrong decision, that is not so. As many arguments that you can come up with about why it was wrong, and how much better and different you would feel today had you done something else, you are wrong in that thinking, and I can give you reasons to back that up. I mean, come on, it’s a make-believe world you are posing for yourself! I can make stuff up, too! Please don’t confuse this with having and following your dreams. Oh they are very real, they are fresh from within you, and they need only belief to become your reality; however that is another subject and requires some knowledge I don’t yet possess. What we’re talking about here are not dreams initiated within our hearts, these are fantasies born of things from our past. They are lies that we tell ourselves, and prefer to believe, especially when our present isn’t so wonderful, at least in our mind’s eye. That one you left, or who left you, supposedly because of what you did or said? He/she wasn’t meant to be anything more from that moment in time. Remember, they also had a choice. There are so many variables, but the one constant is that everything happens for a reason. Did you take the time for yourself to settle down and remember who you were? Not only is that a disruption of the present in that moment in time, you have to consider what the other party was faced with, and what their thoughts were about it, and what lesson they were meant to learn, if any. You would not be the same person today had things been any different. Some may feel that it surely couldn’t be worse, yet it most likely would be, for you would still have that lesson to learn, you would still have the pain to go through… of course, now we’re getting a bit subjective, but you must get the idea: there are so many if’s, buts’, and I knows that come into play; it’s impossible to determine any one outcome based on such criteria.
Ok, this is all a part of what I’ve come to believe about the decisions we’ve made in the past as well as how decisions we make today can be affected and handled. I feel so strongly about it that I wanted to share. Such realizations, enlightenment if you will permit, have come to me only recently, like in the past few years, and they’ve evolved bit by bit during that course of time as well. I hope some of this makes sense to you, and I know sometimes I leave things out that may be crucial in understanding, so if you have questions, please ask me. I only mean to share what I believe can help us in our struggles with our past as well as our gateway into our futures, which is our present. I used the example of relationships because it has forever been so dear to me, and I have put myself through much agony over it through the years, but it really does apply to everything we have ever done, based on decisions, or choices, whether ‘forced’ or otherwise, such as taking or losing a job, yelling at our child or not, and so forth. I hope to hear your thoughts on this, and as several friends have commented before, sharing is often a way to learn to accept and understand one another, and I want to understand you better, as I hope you will me.
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