This came up in conversation the other day with someone and is somewhat still on my mind.... not because I do not believe the person I had this conversation with, because I do, but because I believe there are other's in my life that are not being completely honest with me.
The conversation was in regards to the following question:
How do you know when someone is truly being honest in regards to things they say to you as to their feelings towards you, the relationship or a specific situation?
I suppose one will never really know if what is said is sincere. All you can do is trust that person and take what they are saying to be the truth. However, time and time again I have trusted someones' words or feelings only to hear in the end "I just did not want to hurt you" or "I thought thats what you wanted to hear".....
Screw that... I am a big girl, I am not a child... All I ever ask from those close to me is to be honest in how they feel. Even if they think it might hurt me. Sure my feelings may be hurt a bit at that moment but it's better to be a little hurt at that point rather than be hurt more, at the end of the buildup of the bullshit!...
As for the "I thought that's what you wanted to hear" line.... that is a load of crap. I don't know how those of you reading this feel, but all I WANT to hear is the TRUTH! Sure it's nice to hear sugarcoated feelings or niceities about oneself, but it stings when the actions of a person do not seem to coincide with their words! It also bites when you find evidence of those words to be lies which is extremely frustrating because the person couldn't just tell you themself, which there in turn, leads to resentments.
I stand behind the saying "Say what you mean and mean what you say"! I believe those that can't do so, are cowardly.
Stop trying to be the "nice" person all the time that is just trying to make everyone smile, unless of course you are actually being sincere in your "niceness" toward someone.
You may think this blog is being written towards just intimate relationships, but this is not the case. My feelings on this subject apply towards ALL relationships. Family, Friends, etc......
Just my thoughts... Perhaps I am over-tired and not making much sense but I for some reason felt I had to get that off my mind and now perhaps I can get some much needed sleep.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Unconditional Love
Being in love is an altered state. Suddenly your life is focused on another person and you can't bear being separated from him or her. You are in a bubble of fantasy, feeling overcome and giddy. Love for another person, in contrast, is closer to appreciation and affection. Love is fairly reasonable, while being in love is more like a prolonged seizure, not literally sick or crazy, but one of those ordinary, positive ecstasies that take you out of ordinary life and introduce you to something new. Some people think that being in love is an illusion and that it only leads to catastrophe because you can't make a good decision from that place. But I think that being in love is one of the great joys of life. It brings people together and gives them the kick they need to get over obstacles in their developing relationship. Yes, you can make bad decisions because of love's blindness, but you can also make good ones. We all need an extra jolt of passion to get over our inhibitions and move a step further into what life has to offer.
That person that said that was you and now I wonder how you feel now saying those words? To whom it may concern...
I have become a lost cause. Love is a losing game and I play the hopeless/helpless romantic. I have become a lost cause...losing much of myself in the process of loving you. I loved till it was painful, remembering how pleasurable it was. I suppose that is where the messages got mixed up. I was no longer living in the first days of bliss…the reality of us has drastically change.
I followed my heart blindly and was left at a standstill. Constantly feeling like I was going nowhere with you. I have crept into the darkest depths of my being. Knowing you is to know me. There has always been more sadness than happiness between us. That has been your choice. Regardless of this tiresome affair...I believed (in us). I know part of you did too. You deny me repeatedly and I have finally worn away. Without question, reservations, or limits I gave you my soul. Unconditionally loving you with my reckless heart and giving you all I could. I believed--I believe you were the one. My one and only desire, because to me what we had felt right from the beginning.
I could never grasp the true meaning of unconditional love. I thought the idea was foolish. Now I know. It has been a test of my will and devotion. Disappointment has not left me bitter. I have been patient but trust me...life indeed goes on. I only hope the memories of you pass. I understand that I had to go through this to learn from all my past wrongs. I have hurt many and I deserved everything I have received from you. It has made me a better person.
I don't know if I have anything left to give, for you have drained the best out of me. Through the rights and wrongs, the good and bad--I loved you. Never had an end in sight, thought this was forever. I pray that one day you experience what I have in its entirety. I hope you learn the lessons I have come to learn. I wonder will you ever feel for someone the way I have felt for you, unconditionally. It is a hard jagged pill to swallow, knowing that you have had feelings for someone in a way that words could never describe.
Someone once shared their thoughts on what love was to them….
That person that said that was you and now I wonder how you feel now saying those words? To whom it may concern...
I have become a lost cause. Love is a losing game and I play the hopeless/helpless romantic. I have become a lost cause...losing much of myself in the process of loving you. I loved till it was painful, remembering how pleasurable it was. I suppose that is where the messages got mixed up. I was no longer living in the first days of bliss…the reality of us has drastically change.
I followed my heart blindly and was left at a standstill. Constantly feeling like I was going nowhere with you. I have crept into the darkest depths of my being. Knowing you is to know me. There has always been more sadness than happiness between us. That has been your choice. Regardless of this tiresome affair...I believed (in us). I know part of you did too. You deny me repeatedly and I have finally worn away. Without question, reservations, or limits I gave you my soul. Unconditionally loving you with my reckless heart and giving you all I could. I believed--I believe you were the one. My one and only desire, because to me what we had felt right from the beginning.
I could never grasp the true meaning of unconditional love. I thought the idea was foolish. Now I know. It has been a test of my will and devotion. Disappointment has not left me bitter. I have been patient but trust me...life indeed goes on. I only hope the memories of you pass. I understand that I had to go through this to learn from all my past wrongs. I have hurt many and I deserved everything I have received from you. It has made me a better person.
I don't know if I have anything left to give, for you have drained the best out of me. Through the rights and wrongs, the good and bad--I loved you. Never had an end in sight, thought this was forever. I pray that one day you experience what I have in its entirety. I hope you learn the lessons I have come to learn. I wonder will you ever feel for someone the way I have felt for you, unconditionally. It is a hard jagged pill to swallow, knowing that you have had feelings for someone in a way that words could never describe.
Someone once shared their thoughts on what love was to them….
Frustrated
This is the honest truth... for that one person who has put me in this place!
Have you ever been so frustrated that you are ready to give up on everything. Well, frustration has really hit home this past few weeks. Things have happened that I am not sure why they happened. I have been one to let things get to me, and in all reality they aren't important issues that I should be worrying about. I love the life I have and the people in it. But the one thing I don't get is why I have to be lied to time and time again. If you are sorry that you are hurting me then stop hurting me. I have let so many things bring me down. I am a strong woman and can survive with or without you! I don't need you and I choose to have you in my life... I am not dependent on you. It's just a great sense of feeling to have you in my life.
And for the person this about, you know who you are. I will always care for you.. you have found a way into my heart like no other. People ask me why I smile daily and its because I know that I have a great guy in my life. But, with a great guy comes great disappointments too. I just wish you would not tell me things you think I want to hear. I want it to come from your heart. Is that so hard to do? Be honest.. if you can't talk in person about it find another way to talk to me and I will understand. Just don't play with my heart because it has been broken one to many times and I don't know if I can bounce back again.
Have you ever been so frustrated that you are ready to give up on everything. Well, frustration has really hit home this past few weeks. Things have happened that I am not sure why they happened. I have been one to let things get to me, and in all reality they aren't important issues that I should be worrying about. I love the life I have and the people in it. But the one thing I don't get is why I have to be lied to time and time again. If you are sorry that you are hurting me then stop hurting me. I have let so many things bring me down. I am a strong woman and can survive with or without you! I don't need you and I choose to have you in my life... I am not dependent on you. It's just a great sense of feeling to have you in my life.
And for the person this about, you know who you are. I will always care for you.. you have found a way into my heart like no other. People ask me why I smile daily and its because I know that I have a great guy in my life. But, with a great guy comes great disappointments too. I just wish you would not tell me things you think I want to hear. I want it to come from your heart. Is that so hard to do? Be honest.. if you can't talk in person about it find another way to talk to me and I will understand. Just don't play with my heart because it has been broken one to many times and I don't know if I can bounce back again.
Deep Analysis of Love
One of the most difficult pains we can experience is the loss of a relationship either a friend or a lover. Knowing that someone will no longer be able to be involved in your life hurts. Even when you know that the relationship wasn’t good for one or both of you. At first it’s usually the anger that hits. You play back in your mind all the things that you think went wrong, and all the hurtful things that might have been said or done, but as soon as the loneliness sets in the anger is pushed aside by the hurt, and sadness.
We never want to be alone, nor were we meant to be alone. The trick is being in the right situations. The first thing to keep in mind is that nothing is meant to last forever. With each day we grow and we change. What and who worked for us yesterday may not work for us tomorrow, and sometimes we grow apart from people that we care about. I have a saying that I live by "You can't have something new if your closet is full". If you know not only what you want, but what you need in your life then you have to make room for it.
Knowing who you are, what you want, what you need, and where you’re going is the first step to having the like-minded people in your life. It is the most important step to having healthy and equal relationships. We all deserve to be happy and I don't believe that your personal happiness is something that you should compromise on just so you won't be alone.
Separation is hard, but it’s important to not sit around feeling sorry for yourself, but to get out and do things that make you feel good. Because if you are feeling good and loving life you will bring more of what makes you feel good into your life.
We never want to be alone, nor were we meant to be alone. The trick is being in the right situations. The first thing to keep in mind is that nothing is meant to last forever. With each day we grow and we change. What and who worked for us yesterday may not work for us tomorrow, and sometimes we grow apart from people that we care about. I have a saying that I live by "You can't have something new if your closet is full". If you know not only what you want, but what you need in your life then you have to make room for it.
Knowing who you are, what you want, what you need, and where you’re going is the first step to having the like-minded people in your life. It is the most important step to having healthy and equal relationships. We all deserve to be happy and I don't believe that your personal happiness is something that you should compromise on just so you won't be alone.
Separation is hard, but it’s important to not sit around feeling sorry for yourself, but to get out and do things that make you feel good. Because if you are feeling good and loving life you will bring more of what makes you feel good into your life.
The Pain of Seperation
One of the most difficult pains we can experience is the loss of a relationship either a friend or a lover. Knowing that someone will no longer be able to be involved in your life hurts. Even when you know that the relationship wasn’t good for one or both of you. At first it’s usually the anger that hits. You play back in your mind all the things that you think went wrong, and all the hurtful things that might have been said or done, but as soon as the loneliness sets in the anger is pushed aside by the hurt, and sadness.
We never want to be alone, nor were we meant to be alone. The trick is being in the right situations. The first thing to keep in mind is that nothing is meant to last forever. With each day we grow and we change. What and who worked for us yesterday may not work for us tomorrow, and sometimes we grow apart from people that we care about. I have a saying that I live by "You can't have something new if your closet is full". If you know not only what you want, but what you need in your life then you have to make room for it.
Knowing who you are, what you want, what you need, and where you’re going is the first step to having the like-minded people in your life. It is the most important step to having healthy and equal relationships. We all deserve to be happy and I don't believe that your happiness is something that you should compromise on just so you won't be alone.
Separation is hard, but it’s important to not sit around feeling sorry for yourself, but to get out and do things that make you feel good. Because if you are feeling good and loving life you will bring more of what makes you feel good into your life.
We never want to be alone, nor were we meant to be alone. The trick is being in the right situations. The first thing to keep in mind is that nothing is meant to last forever. With each day we grow and we change. What and who worked for us yesterday may not work for us tomorrow, and sometimes we grow apart from people that we care about. I have a saying that I live by "You can't have something new if your closet is full". If you know not only what you want, but what you need in your life then you have to make room for it.
Knowing who you are, what you want, what you need, and where you’re going is the first step to having the like-minded people in your life. It is the most important step to having healthy and equal relationships. We all deserve to be happy and I don't believe that your happiness is something that you should compromise on just so you won't be alone.
Separation is hard, but it’s important to not sit around feeling sorry for yourself, but to get out and do things that make you feel good. Because if you are feeling good and loving life you will bring more of what makes you feel good into your life.
What Is Love?
Love has so many definitions to it and sometimes it can be confusing to the wondering minds. I find that I have a very set thought about what love is and how I let it be applied to my life. Love to me is something that will appear when its ready. I am not one to go out and search for it and I will let love find me. I would like to think that when I love someone and I tell them and they tell me in return they love me they actually mean it. There are so many times where the love word is just thrown around and there are no feelings behind it.
There are different types of love. You have the love of a family member, the love of a child, the love for friend and the love you have for your companion. Well, I know that I have love for some people that are just friendship and then I have the love that is specifically for that one guy I am with. This love is unconditional, I would do just about anything for this person.
When I tell the guy I am with that I love him. That is not the friendship kind of love or the family kind of love. It's the love that I can see going beyond a few weeks, months and it is a lasting love. In my lifetime, I have told three guys I love them. I don't like to use that word lightly because it carries a lot of strong feelings and emotions. And normally the guys I tell that I love them are the ones that I can see myself with for a while. And the ones I have said I love you to are the ones that I have been with for years. I don't use the word very lightly and when I say I love you, I know that I mean it.
I don't consider love to be something expected in return unless you were meaning it. I have been burned by love so many times and I am still standing here in search for love and I have found it with that one person. I love him unconditionally and I would do anything for him. Love is not about sex, money, possesions. Its about the feelings you have for one another.
I think I am in a relationship where the person says he loves me but its hard to know how he truly feels because anyone can throw around the word love. I am not sure if I find it easy or not, I feel like the relationship I am in .. is one that will be destined to fail because it has no strong foundation. Our relationship started out as any other relationship and then it quickly went farther than I thought it would... and when I slowed it down things were more complicated. I feel like he loves me when its easy for him. Do I dare ask him what love is to him and what kind of love he has for me? Or would I get an answer that would completely devestate me and cause more heartache.
Sometime I wonder if love is even worth anything at all. I am so tired of men saying that the love me but they end up using me or hurting me. Are you one of those?
There are different types of love. You have the love of a family member, the love of a child, the love for friend and the love you have for your companion. Well, I know that I have love for some people that are just friendship and then I have the love that is specifically for that one guy I am with. This love is unconditional, I would do just about anything for this person.
When I tell the guy I am with that I love him. That is not the friendship kind of love or the family kind of love. It's the love that I can see going beyond a few weeks, months and it is a lasting love. In my lifetime, I have told three guys I love them. I don't like to use that word lightly because it carries a lot of strong feelings and emotions. And normally the guys I tell that I love them are the ones that I can see myself with for a while. And the ones I have said I love you to are the ones that I have been with for years. I don't use the word very lightly and when I say I love you, I know that I mean it.
I don't consider love to be something expected in return unless you were meaning it. I have been burned by love so many times and I am still standing here in search for love and I have found it with that one person. I love him unconditionally and I would do anything for him. Love is not about sex, money, possesions. Its about the feelings you have for one another.
I think I am in a relationship where the person says he loves me but its hard to know how he truly feels because anyone can throw around the word love. I am not sure if I find it easy or not, I feel like the relationship I am in .. is one that will be destined to fail because it has no strong foundation. Our relationship started out as any other relationship and then it quickly went farther than I thought it would... and when I slowed it down things were more complicated. I feel like he loves me when its easy for him. Do I dare ask him what love is to him and what kind of love he has for me? Or would I get an answer that would completely devestate me and cause more heartache.
Sometime I wonder if love is even worth anything at all. I am so tired of men saying that the love me but they end up using me or hurting me. Are you one of those?
When I Love Someone
When I love someone I give them my whole heart. I am not afraid to show who I truly am. I will not hide my feelings and will not be embarrassed to show the real side of me. I have given my heart to someone and he will always have my heart. No matter what has gone on or what will go on and however the path takes us he will have my heart.
When I love someone and its the kind of love where you want to cherish it and hold it close. I have had people take advantage of the love I have given and it sucks. I think that there are going to be hard times in my life and I would love to have the person I gave my heart to be by my side. Will you be there or will I be standing alone?
I have a very specific idea on what love is. I think that love is something that is meant to be shared between two people. You can have all different kinds of love ... friendship, family, relationships or whatever. But when I use the word LOVE, I mean it with my whole heart and there are good intentions behind it. I can't just throw the word around because it doesn't seem right or fair to the one who is on the receiving end.
It actually happened to me, I finally heard the words I truly love you come from his mouth. And it took a long time to hear that. He was afraid to be honest and share his emotions and now that he has said it and I know he means it our relationship is at another level. He will always be held very tight in my heart, there is no one that can replace the love I have for him. If we don't make it in the end... I will never get my whole heart back because he will always have a piece of it.
When I love someone... I put all I have into the relationship. I will spend hours upon hours working on things to fix it or make it better. I won't walk away without giving it a fight. So now, what do you think about when you love someone?
When I love someone and its the kind of love where you want to cherish it and hold it close. I have had people take advantage of the love I have given and it sucks. I think that there are going to be hard times in my life and I would love to have the person I gave my heart to be by my side. Will you be there or will I be standing alone?
I have a very specific idea on what love is. I think that love is something that is meant to be shared between two people. You can have all different kinds of love ... friendship, family, relationships or whatever. But when I use the word LOVE, I mean it with my whole heart and there are good intentions behind it. I can't just throw the word around because it doesn't seem right or fair to the one who is on the receiving end.
It actually happened to me, I finally heard the words I truly love you come from his mouth. And it took a long time to hear that. He was afraid to be honest and share his emotions and now that he has said it and I know he means it our relationship is at another level. He will always be held very tight in my heart, there is no one that can replace the love I have for him. If we don't make it in the end... I will never get my whole heart back because he will always have a piece of it.
When I love someone... I put all I have into the relationship. I will spend hours upon hours working on things to fix it or make it better. I won't walk away without giving it a fight. So now, what do you think about when you love someone?
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