I Love(d) You

I love(d) you

It has been a while since we broke up, for the second time. It was different this time, we both gave up. I tried to get this relationship back but it's obviously not working.

My heart literally shattered into pieces at the moment you told me you're done trying to do anything to make this relationship work. And that you're just going to sit back and let whatever happen, happen. You said, "If God wants us to be together, we will." But then again, if you love something, you shoud work for it. It's sad, because you left me hanging.

You told me I am a bitch and I never appreciated anything. You said I never made effort in maintaining this relationship.I told myself to give all up on you.

But then again, I can't. Everyday, I feel so lost. And when our song started playing on the radio, the feeling I have towards you, it's there. Tears started shedding. Every night, I fall asleep in a wet pillow. While you enjoy hanging out with your friends. You told me you were hurtin too, but it doesn't seem like it.

And I can't watch any sort of love, romance movies anymore. Because it hurts so badly. I was never those who cried during  sad love stories, but now, I am. You turned me into an emotionally weak person.

You promised me forever. You said you were going to have a future with me. You said I was the only one you loved. You are my first serious, adult relationship. You told me I was what you have wanted, you said you will love me for as long as you can. I told you I don't believe in sweet talks. But, you made me believe everything you said.

And then you tore me apart.  You broke my heart. Completely.

But I love you, and yet I shouldn't.

You spoiled my whole perspective towards love. Do you know that?

You said we coudl be friends. So you started texting me as friends. You're giving me hope towards the relationship, a false hope. I tried not to reply, but how could I? Please stop this. It sucks.

One day, I will be happy again. I hope